Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
