I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
