I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize