Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
