Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
