The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
We had sex on a dog bed..
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
