Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
