Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
