Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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