maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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