I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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