I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Randomize
