In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize