ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
