quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
