There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
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She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
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best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize