The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
