just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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