Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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