I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
