I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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