I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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