there were more penises there than on chat roulette
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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