He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
