perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize