Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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