She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
