omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
