I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
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After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
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I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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