he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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