Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Let's paint friendship bongs
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Drake has all the answers
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
