just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize