My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
