i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
