imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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