there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
