i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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