Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
