I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
