did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
