i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
