Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
so explain again why im purple
no
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
