You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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