Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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