She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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