Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Randomize
