I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
