trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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