Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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