dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
