I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
