I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
