HIV tests are more positive than that guy
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
