This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
