Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
