I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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