Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
