there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
