is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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