The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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