the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
