Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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