I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize