the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
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